> At a Glance
> – Wedding guests asked to donate to couple’s honeymoon instead of buying gifts
> – Mumsnet user calls the request “very rude,” sparking viral thread
> – Forum majority say cash funds are now standard as couples already live together
> – Why it matters: The post highlights shifting wedding-gift norms and guest expectations
A U.K. woman’s refusal to fund a couple’s honeymoon has ignited fierce online discussion about modern wedding etiquette.
The Dilemma
Posting on Mumsnet, the anonymous guest said she was taken aback by the bride and groom’s registry note: donations to their honeymoon fund, not boxed gifts.
> “A wedding gift is usually a gift to help in the setup of their new life together, not to help go on holiday,” she wrote, asking if she would be unreasonable to bring a traditional present instead.
She added that the celebration already “sounds as if it is a lavish affair” and worries guests are being stretched thin.
Forum Reactions
Commenters quickly schooled the poster on current norms:
- “It’s very normal” since most couples cohabit before marriage and already own household basics, one user replied.
- Another noted gift registries serve the same purpose as cash asks-ensuring the couple receive something they will use.
- Several warned that ignoring the request and buying a physical gift could strain the friendship if the couple truly prefer cash.
Traditional vs. Modern Registry
| Aspect | Traditional Registry | Modern Cash Fund |
|---|---|---|
| Focus | Household items | Experiences or savings |
| Assumption | First home together | Already living together |
| Guest View (OP) | Polite, tangible | “Very rude” |
| Forum Consensus | Outdated | Standard since ~2000s |
Key Takeaways
- Cash honeymoon funds have become mainstream as pre-wedding cohabitation rises.
- Guests can still give physical gifts, but risk the couple’s disappointment.
- Etiquette debates reveal generational splits over what counts as appropriate.
The thread closes with a near-unanimous verdict: if you care about the couple, respect their registry-even when it comes in digital dollar form.
