At a Glance
- Peter Mutabazi, viral foster dad to 880K Instagram followers, posted a raw confession: “I feel like a failure”
- Single father of three admits parenting adult children is harder than he expected: “No one ever prepared me”
- His adopted son Anthony, 21, and siblings Isabella and Luke now make their own choices, leaving him powerless
- Why it matters: His transparency shatters the myth that love alone can erase trauma and shows the emotional toll on foster parents when children age out of their control
Peter Mutabazi built a massive online following by sharing the joyful moments of fostering kids from hard places. Over the weekend the single dad dropped the highlight reel and posted a tear-filled Instagram Reel instead.
“I am really struggling as a dad right now and I feel like a failure,” he wrote. “I replay everything wondering if I did enough, if I did the right things, if I missed something that mattered. This season hurts in ways I don’t know how to fix.”
The confession stunned fans used to seeing him dance in the kitchen with his children or celebrate adoption days. In an exclusive interview with News Of Los Angeles, Mutabazi explained the post came after weeks of watching his adult children make choices that could derail their futures-and realizing he can no longer step in.
The Loneliness of Single Foster Parenting
Mutabazi parents alone. He adopted Anthony in November 2019 and later welcomed siblings Isabella and Luke in 2023. The lack of a parenting partner magnifies every doubt.
“You don’t have someone to give you a second opinion,” he said. “You don’t have someone to say, ‘Hey, was this kid being reasonable?’ … you just have to watch and deal with it yourself, then come up with an answer and solution. That sometimes is hard as well.”
He described nights spent second-guessing decisions, replaying conversations, and wondering if earlier interventions could have prevented current struggles. The emotional weight compounds when children direct their anger at the only parent in the home.
“Sometimes when they are older, you become the punching bag,” Mutabazi said. “They offload all their miseries, their failures.”
The Shock of Parenting Adults
Nothing prepared him for the day his parental authority expired.
“I’ve always had little kids, and now I have two adults,” he said. “I don’t think anyone ever prepared me for that – [I didn’t know] it would be so hard to parent adult kids.”
Before they turned 18, he could set boundaries, enforce rules, and steer them away from danger. After 18, he must watch from the sidelines.
“Before they’re 18, you can make a decision. You can decide what should be done,” he explained. “But once they’re 18, you lose that because they’re adults. Legally, there’s nothing I can do.”
The powerlessness eats at him. He sees pitfalls they refuse to acknowledge. He offers advice they reject. He wants to protect them from consequences they must now face alone.
“That’s the hard part as a parent to watch,” he said.
Wrestling With Self-Blame
Despite understanding logically that his children own their choices, Mutabazi still turns the lens inward.
“You begin to blame yourself,” he said. “Did I enable them? Am I the problem?”
The questions spiral: Did he rescue them too often? Should he have pushed therapy harder? Did stability come too late to undo early trauma?
“I did my part,” he insisted. “At this time, anything they do is on them, not me. But as a parent, it’s hard to live in that place, you know?”
The internal wrestling match leaves him exhausted. He knows the statistics. He knows the foster-care-to-prison pipeline. He knows how many kids age out of care only to end up homeless, addicted, or incarcerated. He fought to give his children different outcomes. Watching them flirt with the same traps feels like failure even when he intellectually grasps it is not.
The Platform Paradox
Mutabazi’s online fame adds another layer. His TikTok following tops 470K. Brands partner with him. Commenters praise his parenting. The disconnect between his curated feed and his lived reality feels jarring.
“That’s kind of the state I’m in,” he said. “I feel defeated.”
He worries about letting down the community that sees him as a beacon of hope for foster children. He fears his honesty will discourage potential foster parents. Yet he refuses to pretend.
“This season hurts,” he repeated.
From Street Kid to Foster Dad
The current pain contrasts sharply with the journey that brought him here. Born in Uganda, Mutabazi survived extreme poverty and neglect. A stranger’s kindness changed his trajectory when the man offered to pay for school.
“No one told me to dream,” he told News Of Los Angeles in a 2025 interview. “No one told me to be hopeful. As a street kid on the streets of Kampala – in any third world country – you are treated more like a stray animal.”
That experience forged his mission: disrupt the cycle of harm for children like him. He entered foster care intending to provide temporary refuge. The children stayed. The family grew. The social-media audience followed.
Now he faces the same limits every parent eventually confronts: children grow up and write their own stories, sometimes in ink that stains.
Key Takeaways
- Even the most celebrated foster parents hit walls when children age out of their control
- Single parenting trauma-affected kids amplifies every doubt and leaves no one to share blame
- Mutabazi’s vulnerability models honesty for other parents hiding similar struggles behind perfect posts
- His story highlights the foster system’s cruel irony: parents pour in love, yet adult children retain full freedom to repeat cycles of harm
- The post resonated because it exposes a universal parenting truth: wanting better for your children than they want for themselves hurts in ways no amount of preparation can prevent
