At a Glance
- Nikki Glaser revealed rejected Golden Globes jokes about Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Julia Roberts and others on The Howard Stern Show
- The comedian cut a Pitt quip about his driving in F1: “I don’t want to embarrass you, but your blinker was on the whole time”
- Glaser called Roberts “untouchable” and worried she’d be “tarred and feathered” for a joke about her film After the Hunt
- Why it matters: The behind-the-scenes look shows how hosts balance edgy humor with celebrity egos during live awards shows
Two days after hosting the January 11 Golden Globe Awards, Nikki Glaser sat down with Howard Stern and pulled back the curtain on the jokes that never made it to air. The 41-year-old comedian, hosting for the second consecutive year, shared the quips about A-listers that her team ultimately left on the cutting-room floor.
The Brad Pitt Driving Joke That Never Was
Glaser’s most elaborate unused bit targeted Brad Pitt and his racing film F1. Had the 62-year-old actor attended, Glaser planned to open with age-gap commentary: “When a man turns 60, he gets to play a racecar driver. Meanwhile, after 35, every role for a woman is a tired mom who hates her life.”
She would have continued: “Brad, you were so good I was almost convinced that you’ve driven yourself somewhere in the last 30 years. But Brad did a lot of his own driving in the movie. And Brad, I don’t want to embarrass you, but your blinker was on the whole time.”
The host told Stern she discarded the joke partly because Pitt wasn’t present to react, removing the spontaneous energy that fuels award-show humor.
Sean Penn’s Neck Veins and Eyelids
Glaser admitted she felt genuine nerves about roasting Sean Penn, 65, nominated for One Battle After Another. “Once I got past the Sean Penn joke, I was like, okay, I can loosen up. But before then, I was very nervous,” she recalled. “I just didn’t want to make him upset.”
The single Penn joke that survived: “Sean Penn is here looking like a sexy leather handbag.”
Rejected zingers included:
- “Sean Penn is nominated tonight. I’m assuming for best neck veins?”
- “Two of the hardest working actors in Hollywood are here tonight: Sean Penn’s lower eyelids.”
Sydney Sweeney, Jonathan Bailey and Julia Roberts
**Sydney Sweeney earned a raunchy observation that never aired. Glaser’s cut line: “Tonight is a night of celebration but we can’t ignore that it’s a weird time in Hollywood. People just aren’t going to the theater to see things. If you don’t believe me, there was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours and it made $14.”
For Jonathan Bailey, named People‘s first openly gay Sexiest Man Alive, Glaser had crafted: “Jonathan is the first openly gay man to be named the Sexiest Man Alive by PEOPLE magazine. And at first I was like, do we really need to say ‘openly’? And then I looked at a list of past winners and I was like, ‘Oh, yeah, we do.'”
Julia Roberts proved off-limits. “This was the joke I had written about her where I literally thought I was going to be tarred and feathered after the show,” Glaser told Stern: “Julia Roberts is nominated for After the Hunt. I don’t know what it’s about, but I’m assuming the hunt was to find someone who’s seen it.”
Balancing Edge and Affection
Glaser told News Of Losangeles before the ceremony that her goal was “to challenge myself to not say the thing that people are going to expect and try something else.”
She applies one rule to every celebrity jab: “as long as I really like these people and respect what they do, I can get away with saying something negative… It really does come from a place of love.”
The Sirius XM interview aired January 13, two days after the 83rd Golden Globe Awards broadcast live on CBS.
