> At a Glance
> – Shay Martin posted a tribute video to her late husband Tanner set to Taylor Swift’s Ruin the Friendship
> – Tanner died at age 30 after a five-year battle with colon cancer
> – Shay declared she has “zero regrets ruining that friendship” after eight years together
> – Why it matters: Her candid post shows how one family turned loss into a celebration of love without regret
Shay Martin turned grief into a love-soaked declaration on January 7, pairing home-video memories of her husband, Tanner, with a Taylor Swift track about seizing the moment.
The Instagram Reel That’s Breaking Hearts
The montage opens on Shay kneeling by Tanner’s casket as Swift sings, “I whispered at the grave, Should’ve kissed you anyway.” Overlay text reads: “So glad I DON’T relate to this song,” underscoring that she never hesitated to show her love.
Swift, explaining the sixth song on The Life of a Showgirl, said it revisits “moments you were too scared … to do something you were really curious about.” Fans theorize the lyrics nod to her late friend Jeff Lang, who died at 21 in 2010.
A Widow’s Unfiltered Message
Shay doubled down on the song’s final advice-“always ruin the friendship”-writing in her caption:
- “Kiss them every chance you get.”
- “I have zero regrets.”
- “Every moment of our 8 years was worth it.”
Tanner recorded a farewell video before his death in June 2025, weeks after daughter AmyLou arrived. Shay has since used their shared social media to chronicle caregiving, loss, and the “transformation widow era” she now navigates.
Key Takeaways
- One Instagram Reel distills an eight-year love story cut short by cancer
- Taylor Swift’s Ruin the Friendship frames a widow’s gratitude, not remorse
- Shay’s openness continues to chronicle life after loss for thousands of followers
Her latest post lands as both tribute and reminder: act on love today, because tomorrow isn’t promised.
