> At a Glance
> – A 34-year-old mom of three told Reddit she’s done buying Christmas gifts for her in-laws
> – Husband says skipping gifts will “come across as cheap” since other siblings still get presents
> – Commenters urge her to hand the whole job-and a strict budget-to her husband
> – Why it matters: Family gift expectations can strain new parents’ finances and mental health
One postpartum budget talk turned into a holiday stand-off after a mom of three announced she won’t shop for her in-laws this year.
The Gift List Showdown
The woman, who usually handles all Christmas shopping for both families, told Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” that money is tighter after baby number three arrived. She asked her husband to tell his brother and sister-in-law they’d swap gifts only for the kids and skip the adults.
Her husband refused, worried it looks cheap while they still buy presents for other siblings.
Her Side vs. His Side
Her argument:
- Fairness-relatives don’t have to buy for them either
- Kids still receive gifts
- Cuts her stress and saves hours of bargain-hunting
His stance:
- Keep buying for everyone to avoid looking stingy
- Won’t suggest Secret Santa or adults-only swaps
- Rejects her £100 Secret Santa idea
Doorstep Exchange Details
The couple never opens gifts together. Instead, they drop presents on the in-laws’ doorstep days before Christmas, and the kids unwrap them solo.
Reddit advice rolled in fast:
> One user ordered: “Hand back this responsibility. He is now in charge of gifts for his side-do not budge.”
> Another warned: “Give him a strict budget. Anything over that gets returned immediately.”
> A third summed up: “Let him fulfill his obligation while you keep your sanity.”
Key Takeaways
- The wife has handled every purchase until now
- Husband fears family judgment if they cut back
- Commenters vote: split the duty and the budget
- No in-person exchange means social pressure is mostly imagined
With the holiday clock ticking, the couple still hasn’t agreed-leaving the husband to decide whether looking generous is worth the extra strain on their wallet and his wife’s peace of mind.
